you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
