I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
