Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
