Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
