he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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