what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
