there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
