I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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