Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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