Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
