69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
