Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
