I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize