My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
