Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
