I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
