Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
