I wish I could teleport
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
how drunk are you?
Several
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
