I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
