You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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