gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
