please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
