Dude my mom stole all your condoms
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize