I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize