I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
