Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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