It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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