I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
