Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
