Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
smell my finger.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
