My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
