is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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