So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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