Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i think im in europe. pls send help
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
