omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
