Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
