he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
