He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wish my penis had a tongue
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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