he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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