Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
