My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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