that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
