I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
