It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
