Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
