Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
