Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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