I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
