He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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