Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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