You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
