You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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