guys are not supposed to queef...right?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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