So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
operation have a gay friend backfired
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
