You're my little dorito
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
