I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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