i permit you to call me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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