If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I got inside last night via doggy door
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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