he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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