I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
