So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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