the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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