Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
