I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
