Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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