Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
