is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
