I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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