Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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